Having a moment

I need to put myself in a timeout.  Yes.  Me.  Go sit on the stairs. And no talking.
This weekend I was pushed to the brink.  I couldn't take the jabber jabber, the sarcasm, the teenage banter or the general noise of boys/men/anyone.  So, yes. I lost it.  Snapped in front of our children.  Their friend in-tow included.  I looked absolutely psycho. 

It wasn't that bad - at least that is what I am telling myself; but I did raise my voice, I in fact did the 'oh I can turn this car around RIGHT NOW' bit and I meant it.  1000%.  It almost felt like I was being dared to fulfill it, which fortunately I didn't have to.  After my reaction, there was a silence in the car so intense all you could hear was the wind as we drove. 

Not my finest moment, but I am allowed.  I will not beat myself up over this.  In fact, I am not even apologizing for it.  That may be hypocritical, but I did ask my husband to apologize to the kids and explain how psycho I have been.  It will be a good bonding moment for them.  Normally, I would feel much different about the behavior I displayed.  But for now, I am going to allow myself the slip.