Friday, November 11, 2011

Control Freak - part 1

Recently I was given an assignment: to think about some things that i could 'let go' of.  Releasing the decision making or control to either my husband, another party or just letting them be completely.  As I work through the options in my head, I am stumped.  There are definitely items I control out of preference and those out of need; but I am really struggling as to what I could honestly walk away from a 'control' perspective. 

Hearing the term control freak, I think of the typical, type A, micro-manager or parent who hovers over all.  I never considered myself that person.  When our son was born - I was that mom who didn't flinch when he fell instead using it as a moment of self-discovery for him.  A little dirt doesn't hurt.  I felt confident in the laid - back approach and overall it seemed to work well for us.  Generally, our weekends do not have to be planned.  I love being spontaneous.  I sing off-key.  I don't need to match.  I can be okay with going with the flow.  So did this change?  Or are there just key areas in my life that have become all consuming?  My quest is to find them.  Identify and surrender them elsewhere.  One, because I need to.  My head is just spinning.  But also because I do not want to be a control freak.  I also am tired of freaking out and worrying over situations that I can't control, but warrant concern. 

Thus the question of Control Freak-dom.  What am I so desperate to control?  It doesn't need to be all perfect.  How do I figure this out?

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