Wednesday, October 2, 2013


Boundries are a funny thing.  Like fences - some are short, with openings where you can see in, others solid - tall and protective.  Some are just simple - drawn in the sand or invisible, your own personal bubble of space that others aren't supposed to invade.

Is it instinct that we protect our 2x2 space in this world and all in it -whether it be cave, flock, home, child? We are constantly told and reminded about personal boundries: create a work/life balence, 'Joey don't stand so close to people, no one wants you in their space',  lock your doors, open your heart and mind..... Where exactly do you draw those lines?

I suppose that is what so many of us are trying to figure out.  How do I draw a line with my work versus home life?  Not just time, but sharing personal stories, venting, who do I let in when, where?  Finding that balance - when do I close the laptop, knowing i have a deadline. but also knowing my husband is getting ready to head out on travel and just wanting to spend my time snuggling with him instead.

Work versus life seems easiest to figure out - at some point while I do need my paycheck, my family is ultimately my priority and I can only do so much.  But what about those other boundries we face - friends.... with exes/children/stepkids, with social media... it can get very muddled very fast... If only it was as easy as tying a string across your room or drawing a line in the sand....

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

What doesn't kill you....

Interesting saying right?  It's been a while since my last post, things have been a little hectic. I would dare to say more than hectic.  In fact what hasn't killed us... well you how the saying goes.

Raising kids is tough work - power to the single parents truly doing this alone.  Raising step-kids I still think tougher than dealing with your own.  The past two years have been a true test.  A test from teenagers struggling to find their way, to our youngest realizing some ugly truths, a test of marriage and commitment, of love and respect and ultimately of strength and patience.

I thought we had a pretty good family unit for a while - we are a blended family and one who always operated pretty well.  Without knowing if it is due to true teen angst, suppressed hatred or anger or 'rumblings' amongst households, we have had quite a show of drama.  Some typical, some not.  I ask myself 'is this what I put my parents through?'.  I know it isn't - maybe a slight version but not the ugliness we have had.  

All I can say is the grace and patience my husband has shown through the disrespect, the slaps in the face, the boldface lies, sleepless nights is that of Jobe.  He has held me as I shake and say "I just cannot do this", has put up with my frustration, has stood strong, has buckled, has had his own moments of jerkdom but has held it together more than not and most of all has shown love every step of the way.  Of course not everyone sees it that way....Maybe one day...

So here I am, back to my virtual diary and the therapy it brings.  Hoping that we have turned a bit of a corner in our personal little space in this world. Stay tuned.  

From a stronger me