Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Love = Trust, Don't think so...
Here I am. A mother, a stepmother and a wife. I am watching a slow decline in both trust of our son/step son; my husband and our family unit. Don't get me wrong... I love my husband and trust him implicently from our relationship standpoint. However I am not sure I trust his reaction to our/his son (my step son) in recent discinpline issues.
Our situation is complicated. Not any moreso than any other divorced family. We consider our family ALL of us. HIs ex manages the kids and herself but doesn't involve her husband, myself or actually my husband. She shoots off about commentary but then folds. My husbands is left wondering does he uphold what they agreed to, fold to her rules despite prior agreements or just create rules of our own because she doesn't uphold anything she even says herself?
So here I am with some rather serious teenage issues to battle. I watch my husband suffer through the hate from our boy and the excuses from his ex. I am mad because he goes against his word to me, but is trying to find a compromise so our son doesn't hate coming here. I get even madder because that compromise goes against all initial agreements (with the BM included) as well as our core beliefs. To me it shows our other boys hypocrisy.
The mom - I used to semi-respect her. The boys are good; however she does not respect my husband, their dad. I am biased I know, but he deserves it. She even says he does. But he is treated like crap. So am I. How do we fix this???
This whole situation sucks. It could be worse of course - but every professional and parent we have talked to says consistancy is key. We try so hard - even typing up rules to follow at each house, family meetings etc and they are all thrown out....
I love our boy... but I don't trust him. I love my husband but I don't trust he will stand strong. What do I do??